To discover character flaws in someone in public leadership is dismaying. Discovering character flaws in someone you are familiar with, makes you want to change them into a better person. But when a character flaw is discovered in yourself, it is dismaying. I admit I have character flaws. While I wish I could say that I didn’t have any, I know that I am like many others with things that can be improved on and strive to change. There is only and ever has been only one person that was perfect. No one will ever come anywhere close to having the perfection of life that Jesus had. Nevertheless, I keep trying to make improvements in myself.
This week I had to work on impatience and selfishness and both of those have a bit of procrastination mixed in with them. Yes, I have the flaw of impatience that sometimes wants to disturb me. I want what I want when I want it. Since I have been a bit restricted to staying in the house this winter because it has been quite painful to do much walking, I have had time to look around and see things that I wish I could change. Some of them I can’t change myself. I would need help from others. I want things in order, in place, sorted, fixed, finished, repaired..... I wanted our little TV to be put in its permanent place rather just sitting on a chair. I wanted our couch to be elevated so that I can actually use it. I want some curtain rods put up so that new curtains can be hung. I want some pictures to find places to get hung where we can enjoy them. The list can go on and on. Some of these things are the finishing items to be done that have waited almost a year since we did some painting and flooring work. And I find myself getting impatient that it is taking so long.
Shame on me because I know that it will happen, when it can. I am very thankful for the things that have been done! Those things have improved how we live and make us very happy. Still....... I am so glad that God doesn’t throw up His hands in impatient despair about me. I know that there are things He wants me to do and to change. I am too slow at making the improvements that I need to do, that He is waiting for me to get on with and get them taken care of. He should be impatient with me--but He is not. He just keeps nudging me to keep making progress. He never nags me, just patiently waits for me to make the changes I need to get done.
Another character flaw that many need to change is wanting to keep too many things and along with that, procrastination. I need to work on those problems myself. And so, I have tried to make progress on getting rid of things I once wanted and thought I needed—those bits and pieces that just take up room. Part of my problem is that I felt
that things my mother had should be kept in the family and I, as the only daughter, was the one who was going to have to do that. Now, piece by piece I am getting rid of things that I thought I wanted. My mother’s favorite color was red. She had lots of red things-- dishes, rugs, cloth, ornaments..... I can finally begin think about whether they are truly
precious-- most are not. We are finding new homes for a box of books, some clothes and some red cloth, some dishes, a griddle, old wall phones--it’s a big list of things and it won’t be the last list. Some of the books were collected when we had school kids at home, the clothes will never fit again, the dishes certainly were not precious antiques. The phones went obsolete many years ago, the griddle we wanted when we purchased it but neither of us really like ancakes! What a relief to have them gone we have discovered!
My husband and mother liked to collect red glass. This week we discovered that one item was only pretending to be a desired red dish. When I cleaned it--some of the red peeled off onto my hands. We had been fooled. It was a fake.
As I continue to find things, bits and pieces, that we don’t need, it reminds me of an important lesson. We all have things hidden in our hearts that God knows we shouldn’t have. He is waiting for us to ask Him to help us get rid the things we have added and thought we wanted--things we DON’T NEED. We don’t need the character flaws of selfishness, impatience, procrastination, neglect, anger, laziness, paranoia, greed, stubbornness, jealousy, dishonesty, envy, lying,
forgetfulness, egotism, addiction, gossiping, gluttony...... I have admitted to several of those flaws. I know that there are several more that I don’t want to admit to, but I still need to ask God for help to get rid of them! I want to box them up, send them out the door of my heart and then close the door and never let them in again. I invite you to search your heart long with me. Find those things, the bits and pieces that you no longer want taking up space in your heart, and let God take them away. Make room for the character traits that God wants us all to have and as we work toward transforming ourselves into a place where we are comfortable having God living in us. I do not want to found out that I am a fake, only looking good on the outside, presenting a pretty face for others to see all the while knowing that I am not what God wants me to me. And I am so glad that He never loses patience with my procrastination!
