I recently saw a FB graph picture of things in and out of my control. In my Control was a list that included Walking by Faith, What I Focus on, Believing God's Word, Rest, Loving People, Bold Prayer, My Actions, and Taking my Thoughts Captive. As I thought about that list, I found that I couldn't disagree with it. I did realize that I can't blame some of what is happening to me daily on those things that are in my control. I can choose the walking path I take each day. I choose to walk a path of faith in God.It is my choice what I focus my thoughts and activities on, though in the middle of the night it is a hard to control my focus. I find it hard to not focus on the worries and concerns of life as I am not sleeping. I can choose to believe what God has written in the Bible even though some parts continue to be hard for me to comprehend. I choose to go to bed on time and try to get enough rest though my body sometimes has other ideas and then I don't get that rest that I need and wanted.I want to follow the words Love your neighbor! We have a neighbor who has made it hard to sometimes think loving thoughts about that neighbor. Bold Prayer—hmmm! I am glad that God understands what I am thinking. My thoughts are really a prayer that I find it hard to make it be a bold prayer! My actions and taking my Thoughts captive are truly in my control but only with God's help! I am not proud of my actions when I haven't first asked—"What would Jesus do?”
And there are times that I don't let God control what I am thinking about, but I always wish that I would have stopped my thoughts and those actions before I did them and put them in God's hands. They would still be in my control because I chose to let them be in God's Hands and control. I can choose to eat healthy or not! I can choose to exercise and to hopefully lose weight. Or I can choose to eat unhealthily, not exercise, to not prepare for surgery. I can choose to drink enough water or I can choose to not do that. I can choose to do those things even when I would rather not!
The other part of the graph was for what is Out of my Control. That list included God's Timing, Changing People, Outcomes, Past, Future, Others Actions, People's Perceptions of Me, When Growth Happens. I liked that list! It gives me reasons for what Is happening, and I don't have to blame myself for my troubles! But am I really blameless?
Well, God's timing sometimes seems good but other times I really think that He got it all wrong! For instance, this past year plus, I can't always agree with God's timing—knee surgery, our car declared to be unsafe, then hip surgery ordered if and only if I lose weight. With the weight loss and surgery in sight, next came the purchase of a newer car only to have it also declared unsafe and unrepairable and another search for another car to purchase. Next was a new diagnosis of cancer and immediate surgery, then back to the scheduled hip surgery only to find out that I would need extensive dental work clearance before the hip surgery. Put it all together, I had to wonder about God's timing. Just one of those things at a time would have been enough for me! I have some planned questions to ask God about—some future day when we are taking a walk together. But were some really out of my control? Perhaps I should have changed something that would have changed the effects if what was happening.
And no, I have long realized that I can't change people! No matter what and how I think it would be best for them to do something my way, seldom do they see my way as best—even though it is! Most wives want to change something about their husbands, and I am one. I wish he would take care of the mail way way way sooner than he does! But after 52 years, I am pretty sure that will never happen, I can't change him!
As much as I wish I could redo the past—those past mistakes are with me forever and I ask for forgiveness. But then I also have no control of the Future! My experiences of this past year have proved that. God and only God can control the future events. And no matter what our politicians think, they can't not control God's plans for this world. Can I control the actions of others! Nope, not me! I can't change their actions any more than I can change a person's character. I want people to think the best of me! I watched all the doctors and nurses that I have come in contact with recently. They couldn't all have been having a good day, yet their actions to me were so kind and caring and full of concern for my well-being and making my experience the best it could be. Even the valets for parking went above the call of duty in their actions. They were always ready to help with wheelchair use and even helped put my troublesome leg into the car. Their actions were so appreciated. I am sure that they often get tired of going back and forth parking and retrieving cars. Yet they never allowed that tiredness to control their actions. What I can control is my own actions. One day this past week the pain I have been having seemed to get worse and along with that, I had a new pain that I could not relieve. It became more than I could deal with at that moment. I was reduced to tears. And they were the ugly kind of tears, the kind crying that is out of control and that no one should want to witness and even want to have personally. I found it hard to get it under control. My actions were less than I expect of myself. Yes, there were reasons, sort of. I needed more sleep than the pain had allowed me to have for several nights. Many days of extreme pain had me almost to a breaking point. My actions were to express some thoughts I should not have allowed. My actions were in my control or should I say I failed to control my actions. However, my actions were still in my control, either good or bad. I need to let God help me with control!
But though I cannot control others actions, it follows that I cannot control their thoughts and that includes their thoughts/perceptions of me. I can try so hard to be the best person I can be—but my efforts will be misinterpreted by others. I used to concern myself with thoughts of what others were thinking of me. I still fight that urge of concern, but it is much easier to just be myself and not wonder what others think. Their thinking is their problem, not mine. I choose to let God help with making me the best I can be—still working on that one though! That leaves Growth! It is out of my control when I am a child! Growing is going to happen no matter what. I can control what I eat and sleep and do my best to be a healthy child to help how I grow but I can't stop growing. Now as an adult, I continue to grow. Sometimes I grow bigger than I want to be—that is in my control! I choose to eat too much; I choose to not exercise! I choose to have a sweet treat or I can choose to not have the sweet treat that causes my growth. My choice, my problem. But there is another form of growth that I want and choose to have. It is the growth of growing more like Jesus! Having taught children for many many years, I represented “growing more like Jesus” with the color green. Most green things show us that they are growing to maturity. As Christians we want to grow to maturity with Jesus. Big people, adults, call it sanctification! I want to be sanctified; I want to live a growing life with Him.
This week I needed the action of needing to get up—get up from my chair, get up and get busy doing some exercises that were going to hurt, get up out of bed, get up and walk! Every one of those required courage! Some a needed a great deal of courage. And then a sermon outline arrived in our mail. The title was The Courage to Keep Going. Oh man, was that fitting for me and timely! The opening sentence was—We all need encouragement at times, especially when hardships weigh us down. That's why it helps to remember the endurance Paul had when doing the Lord's work. That courage strength is as available to me/us as it was for Paul.
Other points that I want to remember—
Even when tempted to give up and walk away, remember that as God's people we're called to a life of patient endurance. Does wanting to quit fit who I am as one who is following Jesus? When God is calling me to do something—it's not time to give up and quit. There is always an answer for whatever it is God wants to do in your life. And I should do it until He calls me to do something else.
Paul experienced many trials. 2 Cor.11:23-27 is a whole list of what he thought were his trials and I know that my trials aren't nearly as bad as Paul's! When I feel weak, I want to quit but should remember that Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit for help. I can have the same strength as Paul had—that of our Almighty God. Paul had great persistence to "keep on keeping on". Psalms 32:8 says, “He will teach me the way I should go” and in Proverbs 3:5 to “Trust with all my heart.” Paul rejoiced because he knew he was doing his Father's will. Paul shared his lessons with others and wrote much of the New Testament. Instead of quitting, I need to think about what lessons I have learned that I can share. I want to "keep on keeping on" and know that my obedience and willingness will not be overlooked and God will be with me to the end. It is a promise that I am glad that I have from God about everything that is happening!
He is in control! He will be with me/us till the end!